It's Christmas Eve. My celebrations started in earnest this morning when I decided to go to the supermarket early to finish off the christmas grocery shopping. We'd already got most things, but there were one or two bits and pieces we still needed. My wife had made a list.
So I got up early and arrived at Morrison's (our nearest supermarket), list in hand, at 8am.
The main thing we needed were pigs in blankets. Not real pigs you understand, nor real blankets. That would be silly. Pigs in blankets are mini sausages wrapped in bacon.
I couldn't find any, anywhere. So I asked one of the butchers, who confirmed that they did have some, and that he'd seen them. So we set off together to find them. We failed. We couldn't find them anywhere. A managet walked past. Apparently they'd sold out. I couldn't believe that they'd sold out in the 5 minutes they'd been open (it was now 8:05am). I was wrong, they's sold out in 2 hours and 5 minutes - they'd been open since 6am.
Not wanting to admit defeat, the butcher went round the back to see if they had any there. He came back 5 minutes later with boxes of them.
How many boxes did I want? Not wanting to break with tradition, I asked for 4 punnets - much more than I actually needed.
I found the remaining items on the list - milk, bread, bacon, sausages, crisps, cereal, sausage rolls - with no further ado.
I got home and put everything away before my wife got up. I left the list in a prominent position, with everything ticked off clearly so that when my wife noticed it, she'd think what a marvellous husband I was.
Did she notice?
Of course not. I finally resorted to telling her.
What's the point of trying to be helpful and making life easier for people if they don't even notice?
Since then we've been out to get the turkey, been to Costa for a coffee, and are now making lunch.